Stompy McUnibrow Update

It appears the smoking gun/Zapruder film/second gunman has decided to make its appearance in regards to the Chris Pronger stomping on Ryan Kesler incident.

Be sure to check this link first to see it for yourself if you were doubting the validity of Kesler's claim.

Also doing a mea culpa with this is TSN's Bob McKenzie who had initially said he didn't believe Pronger should be suspended based on the "inconclusive" video evidence presented before. Now, with the new video showing a closer view of what exactly Stompy McUnibrow was doing to Kesler... he feels action should be taken.

The main guy changing course in all this, however, is Colin Campbell. Campbell had asked for Pronger to come to New York City to meet with him to discuss his newly minted indefinite suspension. Pronger opted to exercise his right to have his hearing over the phone.

What I found oddly amazing about this part of the story was this:

Traditionally, the type of hearing usually speaks to the number of games a
player can be suspended. The phone hearing normally means four games
or less, while an in-person hearing means five or more.

By waiving his right to an in-person hearing, Pronger acknowledges his
suspension could be more severe than the phone treatment usually determines.

So... basically you know how screwed or not screwed you are based on how they want to conduct business. I also find it a bit odd that the player who's about to be punished has the option of whether or not they come to meet with Campbell. Shouldn't something regarding what will likely be a long suspension have to require their presence in person? This would be like having a defendant be tried, convicted and sentenced all while never having to set foot in court....ever. Then again, it's not surprising that the NHL would operate in such a way.

This should prove interesting to see how harshly the NHL comes down on Pronger - remember, the bar is set at 30 games (what Chris Simon got for doing exactly the same thing). Also, remember that Simon and Pronger now both have the same number of doled out punishments from the NHL. I'm thinking Pronger will miss out on the rest of the regular season and then will be back and ready to go for the playoffs where he'll probably continue to be a beligerent rule breaker and menace to the safety of everyone on the ice.

This really couldn't have worked out any nicer for Anaheim.

The Double-Standard is Clear

Remember Chris Simon? Yeah, he's on the Minnesota Wild now, but while he was a New York Islander he helped add to his fun legacy by both using Ryan Hollweg like a batting tee and Jarkko Ruutu as a Dance Dance Revolution mat.

I get to mention that last incident because it elicited this response from NHL Discipline Lackey Colin Campbell:

Several factors were considered in imposing the longest suspension in NHL
history for an on-ice incident. While it was fortunate there was no serious
injury to Mr. Ruutu as a result of Simon's action, the deliberate act of kicking
an opponent with an exposed skate blade, especially where the opponent is in a
vulnerable position, is and always has been a repugnant and totally unacceptable
act in the game of hockey.

In addition, while the act itself was
extremely dangerous, the fact that this is the eighth incident requiring the
imposition of supplementary discipline on Simon compelled me to impose a very
severe penalty in this case. When a player repeatedly evidences the lack of
ability to control his actions and conducts himself in total disregard of the
rules, as well the health and safety of other players on the ice, each
subsequent incident is deserving of enhanced scrutiny and more severe
discipline.

This response serves not only the purpose of imposing
appropriate punishment for the player involved, but also the purpose of
deterring the player and all other players from engaging in similar conduct in
the future - hopefully creating a safer long-term work environment for all NHL
players.

I ask that you keep these words ringing through your head as I show you this.

That is Chris Pronger of the Anaheim Ducks, the darlings of the NHL, deliberately stomping on the Vancouver Canucks' Ryan Kesler with his skate in their game just last night. In case that sentence was too much to handle, here are the operative statements to keep in mind:

Chris Pronger
Anaheim Ducks
Deliberately
Stomping
On

Now that I've painted that clearly for you, the outrage from the Canucks and from Ryan Kesler was rather obvious:

"He stomped on me," Kesler told reporters after the game. "He got me on the
calf."

Again, our operative word here is:

Stomped

After Colin Campbell reviewed the incident, he followed through as how one would expect someone to on a repeat rule-breaking violent-hitting offender...

Chris Pronger Will Face No NHL Disciplinary Action for Stomp

Of course...why would the NHL suspend a guy they had their media gurus persistently sucking up to all last playoff season?

Wait, he was suspended twice during the playoffs last year for dirty hits? Once in the Western Finals and again in the Stanley Cup Finals? That can't be true! He's the best defenseman since Bobby Orr and Paul Coffey had a love child together with Scott Stevens! He's all parts fantasticness!

Wait a minute, what's this I read here?

Chris Pronger has been suspended seven different times before in his career? How is that possible!? I was told all playoffs long the last two seasons that Chris Pronger was the greatest thing to ever set foot on the ice that played the defensive position. This must be an egregious oversight.

After all, Chris Simon is the lowest form of low on the face of the hockey earth and he's been punished über-severely multiple times because he's got a bad temper and a bad reputation and he's been suspended by the NHL eight different times! He's bad! Boo Chris Simon!

Folks, I don't know how many more times I need to stress the idiocy of those in charge of the NHL in all offices. I feel like I'm a broken record here sadly and I'd love... LOVE to talk more about the great things going on in the game (basically Alexander Ovechkin) but I can't ignore these stories. The NHL is finding new ways to make me hate being a professional hockey fan on a weekly and sometimes daily basis and that makes me sad. I love the game more than anything.

But this...this circus of errors, hypocracy and ignorance on all levels from the Commissioner's office to the Discipline office to the General Managers and Owners on down to the fans who have been duped over the last 10-15 years into thinking this brand of hockey is good. It's downright shameful and an absolute disgrace.

Personal Fandom Takes a Body-Blow

Being an American hockey fan means that there are more than a few things working against you these days. You don't have consistent televised coverage of games, especially if you live outside of the northeast U.S. or Canada. You also don't have much to work with as far as having fun or competent columnists to write to you about the game and about their feelings on the sport.

I've taken the media on the whole to task for failing in their role as gatekeepers - in keeping fans and casual curious outsiders apprised of what's going on with the game for better or for worse. There are a small handful of folks who I appreciate seeing what they've got to say and what their take is on the game. Others, I appreciate their passion for the game and their "love it at all costs" demeanor...when it's within reason - blind fandom is never a good thing because you'll miss everything else going on around you.

That is why I am so disheartened and disappointed with this piece by ESPN (the Network!)'s lone on-air true hockey soldier, John Buccigross.

I know, it's not really the best of reading given that it's basically a game blog going over what he sees in the game and what's going on. This time, he tackled the recent Stanley Cup Final rematch between Ottawa and Anaheim played in California.

Having not seen the game, you'd read that and would likely think, "Man, Ottawa is in big trouble and the Ducks are going to run away and hide come playoff time destroying everyone along the way."

Not so fast...

Missing from this game outline are a few facts:

Three Ottawa players had to leave the ice due to injury: Anton Volchenkov, Andrej Meszaros and captain Daniel Alfredsson. Bad breaks and bad luck you're figuring, correct?

Wrong. Volchenkov and Meszaros both left the game after egregious hits from behind and Alfredsson left after being on the bad end of a cross-check.

Buccigross does make mention of Senators coach Bryan Murray getting tossed out of the game - an extreme rarity in hockey. What were the circumstances though? Why would he get thrown out of a game where, according to the box score, saw hardly any penalties called at all? Seems pedestrian for an NHL game, doesn't it?

Ahh there's the rub I was looking for - this game was called in perfect preparation for the coming playoffs where officials don't want to be the ones to decide the game and make the back-breaking call that leads to the deciding goal of the game. No ref wants to be bigger than the game itself, save for Bill McCreary and Kerry Fraser.

However the referees on this night were Wes McCauley and Kelly Sutherland and they did, in fact, make themselves part of the game by letting most everything go...well, except for Teemu Selanne pulling a full gainer on an apparent trip and drawing the penalty (missing the obvious diving call in the process).

They also managed to botch up back-to-back too many men on the ice calls. The first being a no-call on the Ducks as they had guys going around all willie-nillie as they were lazily making a line change. These calls, while they can be confusing are easy to make - it's not hard to see a team screw up their line change so badly that you can see six or even seven skaters on the ice. The second call was one that was, at first, going to be made against Ottawa and to the officials credit they did count six Senators skaters on the ice. The problem was that goaltender Martin Gerber was already on the bench after being pulled for the, yes the term is right, extra skater.

How do you miss the goaltender not being on the ice?!

All of these things ultimately lead to Bryan Murray getting so fed up with everything that he pulled a trick out of the baseball manager's playbook and complained loudly and often enough to be thrown out of the game.

For the life of me, I can't remember the last time I saw an NHL head coach actually get kicked out of the game, but I can remember the last time any coach was tossed from a game and that was back in 2002 in Division III in the ECAC East Finals between the Norwich University Cadets and Massachusetts College of Liberal Arts Mohawks.

Murray, to his discredit/yellow-belliedness, put the blame upon himself for earning his team another penalty and getting thrown out.

“I talked to the referees during the game and I took a bad penalty,” Murray
said. “I apologized to them (his players). I put them in a bad spot. It was a
2-1 game and we had a chance to win.

“I took a second penalty and cost them the game. I should never do that and
it won’t happen again.”

Murray blew a golden opportunity here to put the league offices on notice that there are heap-big shenanigans going on during Ducks games and that having a couple of referees with marginal experience. McCauley has been an NHL ref since 2001, Sutherland since 1999 with a combined 22 playoff games worked between them (18 for Sutherland, 4 for McCauley). These guys ought to know better, but they're obviously inexperienced in handling a game that would likely have a lot of heat to it.

I would've given you a link to the website for NHL officials, but apparently even linking to their site is forbidden by the NHLofficials and their dot.com page because it's copyrighted. Thankfully, yours truly is a skilled wordsmith and you can piece it together nicely. Whoever said the NHL wasn't fan friendly?

Buccigross also fails in respect to what happens to Alfredsson - mentioning only what Alfredsson did during the Finals last year, firing the puck at one of his man-crushes Niedermayer in an inappropriate manner. Apparently failing to mention that Alfredsson was crushed by a cross-check illegally is OK.

The other side of this coin are the Ducks who were playing the role, again, of the out of control goon squad allowed to do whatever the hell they want to on the ice under the guise of teamwork. Yes, Booch mentions all throughout his piece that the Ducks are playing great and they're clicking and all that other silly sport-speak. What goes untalked about is the disgusting manner of play employed by Anaheim - a style of play that would've fit in perfectly with the Devils and Stars alike during the NHL Offensive Dark Ages but shouldn't be flying with anyone nowadays.

But yet, here we are. Amazing isn't it?

Here we are in a season with a player preparing to do something that no one has done since Mario Lemieux was in his peak and other offensive stars are doing their damnedest to take the headlines - but which team is getting picked out by many to run away and hide againd during the playoffs? The Ducks.

Brian Burke's band of cheats and goons are the fashionable pick by the experts to win it all again, but at what cost? I stressed this when I started this forum and I'll stress it now - we're going back to the beginning again and the gatekeepers are playing dumb all in the name of portraying the NHL in the bright and glowing light they want to put it in.

All's not sunshine and roses though and when even the staunchest of hockey fans turn away in disgust when every whistle turns into a scrum and questionable and dirty hits dictate the play once again - what will the response be from the league?

It'll be the same as it always is - Gary Bettman commending the finalists and handing the Cup over to the gang of thugs who played the dirtiest to get it. Hooray hockey!

Parity - Still An Uncontrollable Beast

Hey, remember when I wrote this?

Sure you do - you're loyal and I love that. So since I've got a dearth of material to work with here, and I'm not about write about Richard Zednik getting a Clint Malarchuk-redux done to him in the same city, nor am I to expound more about the failings of NHL officiating (that's done to death after all), nor do I care that much about Joe Corvo and Patrick Eaves being shipped off to Carolina for Mike Commodore and Cory Stillman - I'm going to do something a little lazier and rehash an old column.

I know, I know - you're giddy about this - but there's actually a point to it all. In this age where all of our information can be had at a moment's notice and analysis from professionals and amatuers alike is made known instantaneously, it's amazing how the death knell for teams can get rung out after only a couple of months.

In that previous column, Washington, Los Angeles and Phoenix were all tied for having the least amount of points in the NHL with 26. Two of those three teams are now heavily involved in a playoff race while the Kings continue to sputter.

Meanwhile, Ottawa and Detroit continue to hang on to the top spot in their respective conferences and divisions, however Ottawa (72) now has company joining them in the form of the Montreal Canadiens (67) - who in that December 15th writing were so non-descript I didn't even bother to mention them. Clearly a faux pas on my part. Je suis désolé. The rest of the division sees the Bruins with 61 points, Sabres with 60 and the dismal Maple Leafs with 55.

Ouch.

The Habs are now five points behind Ottawa, good for fourth overall. Well, it would be third if it weren't for the Remedial Hockey Division, the Southeast which now sees those formerly dismal Washington Capitals on top there with 59 points. Having the should-be MVP/Richard Trophy/Art Ross Trophy winner on your team helps that out. The Hurricanes, currently not in the Top 8, sit one point back of Washington with 58 tied with Atlanta. The horriffic Panthers have 57 and the Lightning are dead last in the East with 52 points. Don't worry, they're a winning streak away from being third in the Conference. D'oh.

The most interesting division right now is the Atlantic where you'll see a new team leading the way almost daily. Today, it's the Pittsburgh Penguins (69). In a day or two it could be the Devils (66) or the Flyers (65). The Rangers sit back lurking with 60 points and the Isles are mired in the muck with 55.

What we've seen here is that there actually has been some sign of separation, but not nearly enough to say that teams are out of it. Given that the trade deadline is sneaking up and teams are already nervous about making any kind of deal, having a shred of a chance of getting in the playoffs, which has proven to be a bigger crap-shoot than even Herr Bettman would like to admit, means everything. This is why it'll be tougher for Tampa to move one of the big three or for Bobby Clarke and Paul Holmgren to do something colossally stupid.

Naaah, there's always time for that!

In the West, Detroit is running away and hiding (87 points) - much to the seeming chagrin of the Wings players who are currently mired in a losing skid. Sure, skids happen - but not generally when it means losing to the Kings, Leafs and Ducks at home. Bleh. Perhaps Detroit is hoping that the lack of motivation thing is hitting them now rather than during the playoffs.

The rest of the Central Division is playing....well, like they always have. Nashville, the wandering vagabonds they are, sit in second with 64 points, a mere 23 behind Detroit and good for 8th in the West. The BJs sit back with 61 points and are poised to make a move provided that Pascal Leclaire can keep pretending like he's Jacques Plante.

St. Louis seemed like they were going to be strong early on but have hit hard times and sit behind Columbus with 56 points. The Blackhawks must've somehow been cursed with Wirtz's ghost because they've fallen off the face of the earth and are parked in last in the Central with 54 points, a mere three points ahead of the lowly L.A. Kings (51) in the West. Ouch babe - Wirtz's ghost is calling for a sell-off from the grave.

Given what a stellar turd the Central is, the Northwest and Pacific make up for it in spades. Dallas leads the way in the Pacific with 73 points but are being followed closely by San Jose and Anaheim with 69. Those two teams would face off in the first round if things broke out this way and I really don't think the Sharks want to see that.

Phoenix lays in wait with 60 points which puts them in 11th overall and just four points out of eighth place - a truly remarkable story considering they too were left in the doldrums just two months ago. People were calling for Wayne Gretzky to step down as coach to save his name and all sorts of other nonsense - however - here's where I get to whip it out and show off a little. To quote myself here:

Phoenix has turned the tide of late after stealing goaltender Ilya
Bryzgalov from Anaheim but they will be eagerly awaiting the coming of the draft
lottery with L.A.

That is, unless, they get hot and their young guys like Mueller and
Hanzal take over and they storm into the 8th spot.

OHHH SNAP! See what I did there? It's a rope-a-dope and I'm fully in support of the Coyotes fulfilling my own prophecy. Never doubt Gretzky....or Bryzgalov. The Kings, as mentioned before, are sunk in last but are within striking distance of Chicago for not-last place.

In the Northwest, things are bizarre as usual now that Colorado isn't winning the division every year. As of today, Minnesota leads the way with 68 points but is followed hotly by Colorado (65), Calgary (64), and Vancouver (63). The Edmonton Oilers, masters of the skills competition, are in last with 55 points.

Things in the West are a bit more cut and dried. The weak are obvious (L.A., Chicago, Edmonton, and St. Louis) and everyone else is within whispering distance of 8th. The jumble amongst everyone else not from Detroit also will be intriguing as teams will likely be jockeying to avoid getting Anaheim and their Goon Squad of Rule Breakers in the first round - the round where the NHL Rulebook goes to die.

Just to see that Washington and Phoenix have risen from the seeming dead is enough to say that people writing off any team is probably a bad idea when there are moves to be made that can affect the situation. Phoenix made a sneaky deal with Anaheim to acquire a #1 goaltender while the Capitals fired their head coach and brought in a guy who was a minor league coaching lifer who was getting his shot at the big time on an interim basis - and then look what happened. The division stayed terrible, Tampa peed down their leg, Carolina can't stop teams from scoring and neither can Atlanta and Alexander Ovechkin emerges as the best scorer in the league.

Incredible.

Never say never fans...unless you're in Chicago.

Dear Hockey Media: YOU FAIL!

It's the All-Star Break which gives everyone pause to reflect on how things are going and where things are headed. I'll have a piece up here soon going back to check out the standings, much the way I did earlier this season.

In reading up on some of the fluff pieces written at this time of year, one writer has done something that no other writer apparently has - asked an obvious quesion. Thanks to ESPN's Scott Burnside, he's actually asked a question I've been wondering about since about February of last year and he asked a guy I particularly don't like at all in Chris Pronger.

Pronger's answer, however, is suprising and a revelation - is he trying to win us over? Yeah, probably, that is until he picks another fight with a gooning stalwart like Dan Cleary:

Speaking of the big Anaheim defenseman, he also might be be the liveliest
interview in the league. Asked whether he believed officiating was relaxed a bit
to allow for more physical play in the defensive zone, Pronger didn't
hesitate.

"You know what, you are right. They are letting us get away with a lot
more. I don't like it. I don't like it," Pronger said. "Again, I haven't given
much thought to it.

"This is actually the first time I've actually answered this question … we are getting away with more, probably from the top of the circles in respect to the little hooks, quality scoring chances, things of that nature. You're able to limit the elite players, the players that are going to be able to create the bulk of the chances. Which is a good thing. For me. Probably not for those guys."

Emphasis mine on that quotation, of course.

So we have a thorough stable of guys that cover all the teams in the NHL for radio, TV and newsprint. We have multiple cable channels covering the sport in Canada and the United States. We have national networks in both countries that cover the sport - and NONE OF THEM HAVE ASKED ABOUT THIS?!

Un-freaking-real. You all embarass me because even an arm-chair loose-cannon like myself that only gets to catch NHL games on TV can see these things happening, especially in the playoffs where referees are even less likely to want to "decide a game" with a call. Deciding games with a host of non-calls is more the way to go nowadays.

This is sickening. The reporters, in this case, have to be the gatekeepers to keep everyone aware of what the hell is going on. Of course, when you still have a lot of games cranking out where teams are scoring six, seven or eight goals in a game - it sends the message to these ninnies that all is well. As we witnessed in the playoffs and end of the season last year as well as for most of this year - all is NOT well and old habits are returning in force.

I'd like to think that a stunning quote like this from one of the league's biggest stars would be enough to draw attention to things....but even in Scott Burnsides' article, it's buried beneath talking about the different events in the Skills Competition, the lack of big stars turning out for the event and the possibility of the league adding two games to the schedule next season.

I guess if its two more games full of lockdown boredom hockey people might start to notice and get worried again. Then again, none of the hockey writers seem to notice or care in the first place.

Brilliant Ideas Sullied By Madness

Recently, NHLPA executive director Paul Kelly gave an interview with the Palm Beach Post (wait...huh?) and one thing he said stood out so much, TSN decided to carry it as one of their main stories.

In it, he says something that I stand firmly behind and support, and then blows that support up with the clarifying statement. Quoting from the TSN article:

In an interview with the Palm Beach Post, Kelly listed a number of cities
that are "anxious" to get a team, including Seattle, Winnipeg, Hamilton, Kansas
City, Las Vegas and Houston.

"The six Canadian franchises do so well, they pack the buildings, get great
TV, great revenue streams. If you put another team up there, be it in Nova
Scotia or Hamilton, it would be more of the same."

This sounds good - we've got a handful of cities that are really hurting in the support category and could be looking to get out of town. Reinvigorating the Canadian market is also a brilliant idea as they will fill up an arena at will and the Canadian dollar is on par with the U.S. dollar (scarily so).

Except that the article leads off by saying that these cities are all interested in expansion opportunities.

NO! NO! NO! NO! Bad NHL!

You continue to learn nothing from past mistakes and seek to overwrite them by making more bad mistakes. Yes, revenues keep going up magically - mainly by bilking the fans that want to come to games.

They seem to think these revenues will continue to keep coming whereas instead we're just going to see the fans in cities where they do love and care about hockey continue to get it stuck to them for ticket monies and the hemorraging markets will keep trying to cut deals to fans to make it affordable while still eating a huge financial loss.

I know the Players Association wants expansion, it's more voices to add to yell at Bettman - that much I support. What it'll do to the game, however, I do not support. If anything, the NHL needs contraction.

The Saga Continues.... Wu-Tang! Wu-Tang!

Pardon my love of Ol' Dirty Bastard.

No, not this old dirty bastard - I mean the now dead rapper from the Wu-Tang Clan.

Let's just get on with it already.

"When he went after [Jason] Blake, I loved it," Clarke told The Sports Network of Canada.

Clarke said Blake deserved Downie's punch for saying Downie should have been suspended for more than 20 games.

"Blake was a guy who had no problem going out and saying [Downie] should be suspended for life or suspended for the year," Clarke said. "When you say something that stupid, why shouldn't this kid go after him for it?

"The kid did what every hockey player should do. If a player like Blake who's been around as long as he has wants to criticize a player, then he has to go on the ice with him and suffer the consequences."

Clarke, in this case, is of course Philadelphia Flyers vice president and former Broad Street Bully Bobby Clarke. Now, it could be very easy for me to get apopleptic about this and start screeching fire and brimstone. I'm not going to do that because not even Leafs coach Paul Maurice is all that upset.

This, however, leaves the door wide open for me to criticize the NHL. Yeah, I know, beating that drum is starting to get old around here, I'm sure but when you've got a league run by gutless morons...these things happen.

How is it that the Commissioner declared that any further goonish actions out of the Flyers would be subject to punishment of the team - meaning that all of these questionable hits and actions are viewed as OK by the higher-ups in Philadelphia. Maybe not all the way up to the owner, Ed Snider, but certainly to the VP's office with Clarke. Paul Holmgren clearly has no problem with it - that or he's been rendered silent by Clarke.

It's a shame, this situation provided the league with the perfect opportunity to punish these cementheads and make an example out of them and to say that respect at its most basic level will be maintained in the league. Instead, we continue to get the same blind-eye routine out of Bettman and Campbell and when something truly egregious occurs, they'll wring their hands and talk about how they never expected something like that to happen and they'll overreact with how they handle it.

This is how Bettman handles things - he's a procrastinator. The NHL's plan is to keep putting things off until it hits the ultimate breaking point and everyone is fed up and sick of things and then everything has to be changed drastically. Gradual implementation is never the answer and neither is fixing things when they're very obviously already broken. Disrepair is Bettman's M.O. and sadly for the rest of us, coming up with the right answers isn't his strong suit.