NHL Awards Summary: Epic Failure

I'll keep this short for you. The NHL had their awards show in Las Vegas to try and sleaze things up a little more for everyone and while this event is generally really awkward to watch, the NHL outdid themselves this year.

Want to stay in touch with the fans of the NHL and try and generate positive buzz? Yeah, go to Las Vegas - great. Everyone loves Vegas, after all it's a city that has zero ties to the NHL aside from crazy Jerry Bruckheimer who someday wants to own a team.

Say, I hear there's a team that is nearby that's in some sort of financial tangle. What's that Jerry?



BOOM!


Right, right. Boom. I get it. Explosions sell. I know.

Oh, hey, let's book Chaka Khan and Robin Thicke to perform. Yeah great, cause that makes fucking sense - about as much sense as getting Def Leppard to play your kickoff event. Old, washed up and NHL fans and players couldn't give a shit about them.

Then we'll get comedian Gerry Dee to do sarcastic interviews with NHL players and legends and it'll be a laugh riot!

Who the hell is Gerry Dee?!

To top it off, we'll have guys like Jeremy Roenick and Glenn Anderson make asses out of themselves!

Perfect.

Well thought out Gary, you aimed as high as you could and hit yourself in the nuts.

I can't wait to see Hootie and The Blowfish headline next years awards with Jim Belushi hosting.

Fuckin' stupid.

Only the NHL would find a way to take their most awkward event and make it somehow worse while adding "laughably bad" as a good adjective.

There's only one way to describe how this came off tonight:



...of epic proportions.

As for your award winners, here you go:

Hart Trophy: Alex Ovechkin
Norris Trophy: Zdeno Chara
Vezina Trophy: Tim Thomas
Selke Trophy: Pavel Datsyuk
Calder Trophy: Steve Mason
Lady Byng Trophy: Pavel Datsyuk
King Clancy Trophy: Ethan Moreau
Jack Adams Trophy: Claude Julien
Jennings Trophy: Tim Thomas and Manny Fernandez
Masterton Trophy: Steve Sullivan
Pearson Award: Alex Ovechkin

The only one I really take issue with is the Masterton Trophy. Never mind that Chris Chelios was a nominee solely for being an old guy but the other finalist was Richard Zednik who overcame getting his throat cut open last year to come back and have a stellar season for the Panthers.

Don't get me wrong here, Steve Sullivan is a deserving winner and he too has come back from a terrible injury, but after this scene:



What the hell does a guy have to do to get an award for perseverance these days?

Jeez.

Hopefully the NHL Draft will be able to put the pieces together and give the league something to hold up as a great post-season event.

No pressure there Montreal, just try to keep Chaka Khan away.