Bettman's Stick Gets Caught In The Spokes

A tip of my cap to Andrew Bucholtz for tipping me off to a brief footnote in a Globe and Mail column by Bruce Dowgibbin providing me with some more cannon fodder for our dear diminutive NHL figurehead.

Let's just cut to the quick:

Has Lance Armstrong become the Tiger Woods of cycling? The controversial American has been away from the Tour de France since 2005, but is making a comeback this year. For the first 10 stages of the 2009 Tour de France, ratings for Versus’ coverage are up 77 per cent through the comparable point last year. That includes an 85-per-cent rise among men 18 to 34 and 132 per cent for men 18 to 49. The 479,800 viewers for the Tour de France tops the 442,300 viewers Versus averaged for the first round of the ’09 Stanley Cup playoffs.

Yeah, I know the off-season is tough so we're reduced to cycling news and talking about Lance Armstrong and...

Wait a second, what was that?

The 479,800 viewers for the Tour de France tops the 442,300 viewers Versus averaged for the first round of the ’09 Stanley Cup playoffs.

Cycling is doing better than the NHL on television when the cycling takes place while most Americans are supposed to be at work and away from television sets.

Un. Freaking. Real.

Suck it Gary, this one's for you!

Remember, the NHL airs during prime time hours and they attempt to cater at will to anyone and everyone, meanwhile dudes in spandex riding a bike (RIDING A BIKE) do better TV business than the NHL on the SAME DAMN NETWORK?!

Wow.

I can see the visionary changes with Versus and the NHL now.

Games played at 11 in the morning on a mountain in Europe and changes to the uniforms to make them even tighter than they are now and more expensive for fans to purchase just so the league can cash in on this cycling craze that has the ratings all abuzz.

Leadership: You're (Still) Doing It Wrong

Better yet, let's just get right down to what this means for the NHL.

Bicycle Ice Polo.

Get ready for it - it'll be the most difficult sport ever created and it'll come to Versus because some inept boob can't make his current sport more popular/noticeable/marketable/affordable.

How can this leadership failure be allowed to continue? It'll be fun when the salary cap falls by $5 million dollars after this upcoming season and teams start to really cry foul about money. Good thing the NHL extended that non-lucrative TV contract with NBC recently because, really, who needs TV money to survive anyway?

Future NHL Ticket Purchases: Doing It Really Old School

Not Herr Bettman and certainly not the NHL - they operate in a world without money. They operate in the South Pacific islands where bartering is legal tender. Make sure you brought enough chickens and volcanic stones to the ticket office so you can see a game this season.

Report: NHL Still NBC's Bitch

I talked a few days ago that the NHL was potentially thinking of doing a Winter Classic Doubleheader involving teams that serve both NBC and CBC's best interests to get them the biggest audience they can on New Years Day 2010.

After all, the name of the game is getting the league more well known with a high-profile event regardless of whether or not it waters down the novelty of the whole thing.

Forget about the potential Canadian game here for a second since the American game at the least had a host team selected already in the Boston Bruins but there was much speculation going on about just who they would face. The prevailing rumor was that the Washington Capitals and Alexander Ovechkin were going to be the foe allowing the NHL a major media event in which to promote one of the biggest stars in the game, the back-to-back NHL MVP.

Capitals Insider Tarik El-Bashir was able to track down Caps general manager George McPhee to find out if the prevailing rumors had any truth to them. McPhee's answer was surprisingly snarky:

"I have not," McPhee said when asked if he had heard anything from the NHL regarding Washington's candidacy for the event. "You think we would know by this point."

McPhee added: "It doesn't sound like we will be part of it. Maybe that's not a bad thing. When you go, you have to play in front of 40,000 or 50,000 of the other team's fans. ...I would just assume if we were in it that we would know by now."

Sounds like there's some sour grapes there, and I don't mean Don Cherry. Perhaps something unseemly was going on and McPhee was all too aware of it and not at liberty to speak about it.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

A funny thing happened on the way through the rumor mill though as stories started to circulate that the Philadelphia Flyers were getting some buzz to be the Bruins opponent on New Years Day, a choice that seems a bit odd as, well, let's face it the Flyers aren't exactly a cuddly and marketable team. They're abrasive, 29 other teams in the NHL generally hate their guts and so do the fans of those teams but they're high profile thanks to that disdain and Flyers fans are generally some of the most psychotic staunchly loyal fans in the league.

The Flyers aren't a team without talent as there's Jeff Carter, Simon Gagne and Pierre McGuire object of affection Mike Richards as well but let's face it, when NBC picks their same six teams out of a hat for their schedule each year the Flyers are getting more than their fair share of NBC attention and it's pretty obnoxious.

This was all rumor on scattered Internet pondering though and harmless for the most part until earlier this evening news came out from, of all places, The Delaware County Daily Times that it was confirmed that the Flyers would be the Bruins opponent in the Winter Classic in Fenway Park and writer Anthony Sanfilippo brought the thunder with how he was able to obtain this knowledge.

Hang on to your asses because this is going to blow it right the hell up:

The NHL was pushing the Washington Capitals. They wanted to market Alex Ovechkin.

NBC, the network broadcasting the game, said no dice.

They were concerned with the poor ratings the Caps' produced in the playoffs in an opening round series against the New York Rangers - the No. 1 U.S. market for the NHL.

So, they told the NHL to skip Washington and give them the Flyers... a more certain brand to market.

The NHL was stubborn for a while... mostly because the Flyers were more interested in a Jan. 1 date with Pittsburgh than Boston.

However, the NHL assured the Flyers that a future Flyers-Penguins outdoor game could still happen in a couple years.

The Flyers were satisfied and agreed to play.

Pardon me for one moment...

deep breaths

deep breaths

Don't lose your cool, Joe. It's not even fucking worth it anymore. Just let it go...

Now, I'm not going to completely blow a gasket here because, hey, who's to say that Anthony Difilippo has his story accurate here. That's not a knock against him, he's dealing with sources that may or may not have everything squared away on their side.

But I believe every friggin' word of it. Why? This is easy. Look how nicely they handled things with the Pittsburgh Penguins and their outdoor screen. The guys at The Pensblog thought very highly of how they handled things:

NBC, the channel that has used the Pittsburgh Penguins and Sidney Crosby in just about every commercial since the network started airing hockey games, is refusing to let the team show game three of the Penguins/Flyers series on the giant screen outside the arena.

Ironically, MSNBC published this article on Wednesday in which they wrote "during the Penguins' run to the Stanley Cup finals last season, the outdoor TV routinely drew a couple thousand fans."

And during the Stanley Cup Finals? More of the same as NBC refused to allow fans in Pittsburgh or Detroit to watch their teams road games on big screens at their arenas out of fear it would harm ratings.

And just where's Herr Bettman through all this?


Zdeno Chara looks away while Mike Richards nauseates over Bettman's posturing with NBC. Pierre McGuire salivates wildly.

Yeah, bending over for NBC again and again out of fear upsetting their drunken abusive father of a national broadcast "partner." How many times now has Bettman "fallen down the stairs" for NBC so they can call the shots as to how the NHL operates its own league?

Disgusting.

This lack of a spine shown by the NHL sickens me as they had the right idea for what to do with this game but instantly rolled over for NBC because they didn't like the matchup.

Unfuckingbelievable.

Out of all this the Flyers still get what they want by getting an outdoor game with cross-state rivals the Penguins in a few years when, who knows if the game will even be worth doing if they run this trick pony into the ground.

And what's more is... Who the hell do you market to the fans in a game between the Bruins and Flyers? Chara? I guess. Richards? Well, we'll hear enough about him from McGuire. Do they spend the whole game talking about hockey's supposed resurgence in Boston? What if the Bruins get off to a bad start next year and the crowd is swarmed over with people there to boo them or, worse yet, are only there for the spectacle and could give a shit else about the game?

That'll play great on television - silence with mixed jeers from drunken boors.

My stand, and I'm sure the stand the NHL had until NBC President Dick Ebersol took his belt off, was that with the Capitals in the game you are guaranteed a major superstar worth marketing for the league in the game.

The last two versions of this game was teeming over with stars. In Buffalo you had Crosby, Malkin and Staal for the Penguins while Ryan Miller and Thomas Vanek played for the Sabres. In Chicago you had Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews to push for the Blackhawks while the Red Wings came out with their crew of all-stars.

This time around? Marc Savard and maybe Phil Kessel for the Bruins with Richards and Carter and the potential Ray Emery sideshow carnival.

Wow, consider me glued to the set for this one.

With the NHL allowing themselves to be in a position to be abused by NBC like this the fans lose out because you don't get to see the best of the best out there. Instead you get what might turn into a street fight. Hell, don't even bother with Fenway, just play it behind the Green Monster on Lansdowne Street and turn it into a brawl since these two teams can always be counted on for that. I'm sure the NHL will love having these two teams beating each other's face in in a game that's meant to show off the best the league can offer in one of its most magical settings, the outdoor pond where everyone's careers began long ago.

What a joke this "leadership" is. The NHL, instead of getting what it wanted, ended up making concessions not only with NBC but with one if its own teams.

Unreal.

NHL: Where Ruining A Good Thing Happens

The last two New Years Days the NHL has taken the holiday to seize the day and make sure to do something that allows them to get airtime on a day when they know everyone is going to be home nursing a hangover or at the very least laying about on the couch.

The NHL to their credit came up with the idea to play an outdoor regular season game on that day during the afternoon. After all, it's January 1st and most of the northern US and southern Canada is in a deep freeze or at least winter-like conditions that lend themselves perfect to playing a game outside in a huge venue.

Two years ago, the Penguins and Sabres played at Ralph Wilson Stadium in Orchard Park, NY and last year the Red Wings and Blackhawks played at Wrigley Field in Chicago. January 1, 2010 will see a game featuring the Boston Bruins played at Fenway Park and the opponent to be announced later on this summer (rumors abound that either the New York Rangers or Washington Capitals will be involved).

Again, this is a great thing and a perfect setting for a game given the rejuvinated hockey fan base in Boston and getting a game with either the Rangers or Capitals is ideal because you're either getting your biggest media market involved or the team with one of the biggest stars in the world. You can't lose here...

...Unless you get the bright idea to do an outdoor game doubleheader on New Years Day with a second game set to take place in Calgary, Alberta, Canada.



Coming soon to the back of trucks all across Canada.


From the National Post in Canada:

Sources say the NHL is looking at building on the success of the Winter Classic by hosting two outdoor games on New Year's Day. The first is rumoured for Fenway Park with the Boston Bruins hosting the Washington Capitals. The second is pencilled in for Calgary between the Flames and another Canadian team - likely the Toronto Maple Leafs.

CBC TV is a major push behind the Calgary proposal.

"I can't see anything that jumps out to me that would be a roadblock logistically," Haverstock said.

Now, I understand that he's talking about logistics of doing a game in Calgary. Obviously its going to be cold as hell there and having conditions able to sustain the ice outdoors won't be an issue.

The sort of logistics I'm thinking of here are those involved in wearing out the NHL fans and the wonderful novelty of the whole thing. Obviously Canada is bothered that they've, again, been left out of the NHL's reindeer games in regard to doing an outdoor game. After all, it's Canada that got the ball rolling with this thing back in November 2003 with the Oilers and Canadiens playing an outdoor game at Commonwealth Stadium in Edmonton.

Now with NBC and the NHL teaming up to make sure all the US marquee teams get taken care of with mid-season showcase event, Canada wants back in and for that I can't blame them. Problem here is that a second game will get no attention in America.

The Heritage Classic in Edmonton nearly six years ago was an event that ESPN and ABC should've gone bonkers over to cover considering how much went into it with the legends game featuring the all-time greats for both franchises playing an exhibition game and then the real game itself. Instead, the event was largely ignored in the United States and video and highlights of then Canadiens goaltender Jose Theodore playing with a toque over his helmet in the frigid Edmonton air were about all we were left with to soak in.

When Buffalo and Pittsburgh played on January 1, 2008 the event was heralded as incredible and amazing a magical and all that with very little credit in the way given to what had happened five years previous but now this event was going to take over as a yearly staple - and hey, why not? It generates attention, looks great on the air and manages to steal airtime away from putrid college football bowl games.

Should the NHL decide to double its pleasure in 2010 to throw viewers a bone in both countries, because God knows Americans won't watch Canadian teams on TV and Canadians are ruthlessly nationalistic and wanting some attention from Herr Bettman for all the financial propping up they do - sure, why not - let's just slaughter the novelty of the whole thing and cave into everyones television demands.

Bettman has already shown that he's got very little backbone to stand up for any sort of principles for the NHL and is now on the brink of selling out to both countries national broadcast partners at NBC and the CBC. This does come with a catch, however:

No one bothered to clue in the NHL Players Association.

Whoops.

From TSNs Darren Dreger:

''This is all news to me. We are breaking news, this is an insider moment that Calgary is potentially going to get an outdoor game and this is the first I've heard of it,'' Glenn Healy, the NHLPA's director of player affairs told TSN.

The NHL confirms the outdoor twin-bill will be discussed on June 25th at the competition committee meeting, however based on Healy's reaction; there is reason to believe the event may be in jeopardy.

''We have never been approached by the league about a second outdoor game ever in Calgary and if they want to approach us, then our numbers are in the book.''

Then again, why would the NHL ever communicate something with the group of people they dislike more than NHL fans when its so much simpler to have someone at CBC let something slip out and get the buzz started instantly.



I can't really top that because this is all it boils down to.

A man sits in his lonely board room cooking up ideas with his media pals... You know, the ones that he's trying to win over so that they'll give him some kind of money to turn a profit after he's already given them carte blanche to boss him around and make a joke of the league by bumping off playoff games from their air in favor of horse races.

He cuts his deals, he makes his promises, and gives no regard for how things will work in the future when he's trying to figure out a way to do an outdoor game in Tampa, Florida. You know he'll have to do that because he'll running out of ideas on where to do the next game or two on New Years Day all the while the fans have gotten over the novelty of it all and the idea just gets stale.

True Bettman style: Get a hold of a truly great thing and abuse people with it simply because it "works" and then be forced to ride the negative tide that sweeps in when things get out of control.

Take a guess what tide rolled in today with this rumor of a New Years Day doubleheader.

Don't get lost in what I'm ranting about here.

The Winter Classic as a singular game and big-time event yearly on January 1st is a great thing. Turning it into an annual circus having to look for new locations at all times to the benefit all the teams looking to cash in on a sideshow-like spectacle is a BAD idea.

The novelty is killed, the interest is nullified and pretty soon people stop noticing and giving a crap altogether. Doubling up sets a terrible precedent for this event in the future because you're not only continuing a bizarro hockey xenophobia that exists with American and Canadian audiences, the simple greatness of a great spectacle event is worn out twice as fast as it would otherwise.

Leave it to Herr Bettman to continue his version of Sherman's march to the sea to make sure anything good that happens with the NHL is soon burned to the ground.

Court to Balsillie: GTFO

Everything's coming up Bettman, but this isn't a surprise:

The Coyotes are staying in Phoenix.

A bankruptcy judge has rejected the proposed sale of the team to Canadian billionaire Jim Balsillie, who would have moved the team to Hamilton, Ontario.

Judge Redfield T. Baum issued a 21-page ruling late Monday afternoon, concluding that the June 29 deadline imposed by Balsillie did not allow enough time to resolve the complex case.

"Simply put, the court does not think there is sufficient time (14 days) for all of these issues to be fairly presented to the court given that deadline," the judge wrote.

If this shocks you that the court didn't approve the sale to an owner looking to supersede the rules of the NHL, then you need to go back to school.

I've said from the get-go of this drama party that there's no way the courts would see things Balsillie's way, especially after he put a deadline on getting a sale done when it was clearly out of his, Jerry Moyes and even the NHLs hands.


Not coming to a Jobing.Com Arena near Glendale.



Of course, this is all just window dressing on the larger problem at hand for the NHL in that they have a franchise that is bleeding money yearly and something needs to be done to rectify that situation sooner than later. In this situation, however, it appears that Jim Balsillie and his moving van won't be coming to Phoenix to take them away.

What happens with the Coyotes next will be very important to see how dedicated Herr Bettman is to actually keeping the Coyotes in Phoenix or if all of his talk about keeping the team there was just that.

Herr Bettman's State of the Reichstag

I've held off on this piece for a bit because, well, there's a big series going on right now. That said, I couldn't allow for Herr Bettman's yearly, rambling spin doctoring speech which he calls the State Of The League address go without giving it proper roasting.

Now I know that some of you may think that the harping on Bettman goes over the top and that's fine and a fair criticism to which I just ask that he not make it so easy to find ways to hammer him. That said, it's getting more popular to needle the man as Greg Wyshynski at Puck Daddy did quite nicely with his piece examining the NHL constitution and bylaws. If you haven't given that a look over you should because the NHL constitution goes over about as black and white as the rules interpretations do for officials.

No wonder this league is such a mess.

What we're going to focus on here, however, is Bettman's May 30th press conference about what he thinks of the league and its many sticky issues and why he's the kind of lying liar lying about lies that drive us crazy.


Black and White makes this blog classy-ish. It also opens the door to break Godwin's Law.

If you've watched or absorbed sports enough in your life you know that when you get a talk from or an interview with someone involved in the game either they're going to bore the crap out of you with the standard athlete/coach speak in which they offer up little to nothing informative or interesting.

If you're dealing with someone in an executive position you're probably going to get lied to a lot and if you're on to their game and understand that they're lying to you to mess with you, it's fun.

Red Wings coach Mike Babcock is a superstar at this because he not only flat out lies, he twists reporters in knots with a British comedy-like dry wit in which allows him to both insult and take down a reporter who thinks they're ahead of the game.

You also have guys like John Tortorella who don't mind actually taking you down a peg or twelve and believe me, that's quite the moment to have.

For Gary Bettman though... We know he's lying, we know what he's lying about and he thinks he's being cute with us while others are more than happy to eat up what's spoonfed by the Lying Mouth That Fails.

Honestly, do you think anyone out there believes it when he says this:

With regard to Phoenix, there has been a lot of commentary on the subject. So let me spend a brief moment on it.

The team was never in jeopardy. It was literally 20 minutes away from being fixed in a way that we thought was going to work quite well, and it's our view, my view, that the Coyotes should not be in bankruptcy.

Give me a freaking break.

"Literally 20 minutes away from being fixed" - if you believe that I've got a team bridge to sell you.

Considering that the incredibly awful situation in Phoenix has now allowed for the soft underbelly of the NHL to be out in full display opening the door for every crazy canuck with lots of money to come running out to make a claim, how is it possible that the league was that close to righting the ship when they can't even get out of their own way in the first place?

How difficult would it be for Bettman to be up front from the get-go to say, "Listen, things are in a bad way in Phoenix. Jerry Moyes has come to us with concerns and has asked for the league to help out in finding a buyer for the franchise interested in keeping the team tied to the city."

At worst, the league takes a hit for playing things parallel to what goes on in corporate America with financially miserable companies getting a taxpayer bailout but at best everyone in the situation comes out looking like they're trying to do the right thing for everyone concerned. Not only does it allow for everyone to look good, it's solid PR for the league and for Jerry Moyes.



NHL Planning: It's fannnnnntastic!

Instead you get this from the press conference following the State of the Game address:

Q. Publicly you've painted a fairly optimistic portrait of Phoenix's financial health all season, yet court documents relating to the bankruptcy suggest there were some serious issues all year round. How do you imagine it turning around in that market?

COMMISSIONER BETTMAN: First of all, I know there have been suggestions that either Bill or I have been optimistic. That was not the case. What we've always responded to has been the notion that the club was not in any jeopardy. The club's losses are comparable to what they've been.

The City of Glendale is prepared to work with the club in terms of building arrangements. And we believe there are buyers out there who are willing to step up, invest and make it work. This is a club that needs new ownership and a change in management and needs to perform better than it has. As long as there are people prepared to invest in doing that, we think the prospects can be optimistic and should be. At least some of the people that I've spoken to believe that it can be turned around and turned around rather quickly by doing a lot of the right things that haven't been done.

Spin, spin, spin away.

The best part about reading this transcript is that you can see Bettman's mood change from the start of the press conference to the end of it and he knows that what he's shoveling isn't being bought by those in attendance and hey, when you go into one of these things knowing full well that the reporters are going to come at you armed with a litany of hot-button topics you have to think he'd be prepared for this or more media savvy about it.

But it's great to read an exchange that goes like this:

Q. Having said that, you've been in the south now, and your southern expansion, you've been 30 teams for, correct me if I'm wrong, 7 or 8 years now - the goal to be to get the big U.S. TV contract. The reward has never come. You don't have the big TV contract?

COMMISSIONER BETTMAN: Really?

Q. Is there any shelf life on being in these cities where across the board down there you've got financial problems. Do you ever pull your horns in on this whole 30?team thing and bring it back a little bit?

COMMISSIONER BETTMAN: The answer is I don't agree with your premise. It wasn't all about just the big TV contract. It was about expanding our footprint and connecting with fans in more places than before. If you count, I don't have the exact number, but the number of people that have attended games in the new markets since they've come into the League goes into the tens of millions. We have a number of Stanley Cup champions and/or finalists who have come from the so?called Sun Belt.

To use your methodology of seven years, I'll make it 10 or 12 years, that's a relatively short period of time in the life of a franchise.

We like where we are. And this is not something that you take a snap shot over. We believe that our franchises can all be successful where they're currently located. And somebody could have asked me the same question that you just asked eight years ago about the Canadian franchises. They could have said; 'Why do you have any franchises other than Toronto or Montreal?' eight or ten years ago, because the buildings in all the other places were two?thirds to half empty. And the answer is because that's where we belong having franchises. We're working with our fans. And we don't run out on cities. We try to make it work. I think at this stage to pronounce that our expansion and the places where we are isn't working is premature.

With respect to television, the television landscape is a lot more complicated than the discussion about it. Taking the year off that we took had an impact on where we are and who had what needs when, and the perceived value of our product.

The fact is we decided coming back to go in a certain direction in the United States. Our ratings are growing very nicely with a partner who is growing with us. And it's playing out pretty much the way we planned. So if it's not living up to the standards, perhaps, that you've set for these franchises, I apologize. But we think we're doing okay.

Freaking hilarious.

I can picture in my head how Herr Bettman pouted over this and about how no one believes what he says when it comes to just about anything having to do with the league.In fact, I don't have to imagine it.


Gary's head being this cartoonishly large makes my Photoshop work all the more realistic.

I can just look at this and feel a lot better knowing that this is the look on his face.

With regard to what he's saying about Phoenix, I doubt there will be any deviation in how things go at tomorrow's hearing in the desert even though the Toronto Star seems to think that Balsillie has a good enough case to win out over the NHL. While we're talking about super-wealthy rams butting heads here, I doubt that the courts would ever go with someone trying to back-door their way into owning a team and violating the way the league does business.

Then again, you just never know - law is funny that way. For my own greedy purposes, I'd love to see Balsillie win out in court tomorrow. Getting a judge to help me and others across the Internet give the NHL and Bettman the finger is something I pray will happen some day, I just doubt beyond anything else that tomorrow is going to be that day.

Of course, should it break down like that, the NHL already has the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals on stand-by ready to smack that down just in case Judge Baum wants to get frisky.

At least the league is always ready with a backup plan.

Er... Right.

Coming Soon: Gary's Spin City

I'm well aware of Herr Bettman's "State of the NHL" speech he made yesterday and there will be much laughter and criticism to be made of it soon enough but let's face it, the Finals come first and I really want to soak in all of his spin-meistering to pick and blow it up to my best.

In the meantime, let me point you to Aaron Portzline's story from the Columbus Dispatch today and let this set the table for what's to come:

At least eight of the NHL's 30 franchises are thought to be suffering significant annual losses.

Phoenix currently is in bankruptcy court. Atlanta, Florida, Nashville, the New York Islanders, St. Louis, Tampa Bay and Columbus are claiming big losses.

Also, owners in Dallas and Montreal are so overwhelmed with personal debt that rumors persist their clubs could be sold.

"No club is in jeopardy," NHL commissioner Gary Bettman said yesterday before Game 1 of the Finals. "We are in a recession, and there are a variety of issues affecting businesses and owners.

"It's happening in all sports. We are no stranger in dealing with harsh economic realities."

But of the 24 U.S. clubs, as many as 15 expect to finish the 2008-09 fiscal year with financial losses.

The clouds on the horizon are as black as vulcanized rubber, and they closed in on central Ohio last week.

"The Columbus team is just one of many in the U.S. that are in very difficult financial situations," said Andrew Zimbalist, a sports economics professor at Smith College in Northampton, Mass.

"I can't tell you if (the club's) claim of $80 million in losses the last seven years is entirely accurate or not. But it's certainly credible. It is certainly in line with what you hear and see from other NHL franchises in a similar situation."

Don't worry Herr Bettman, your time is coming.

Gary Bettman: Happiest Man on Earth

Since a lot of you are new to this page and probably weren't keeping tabs with me last year for the playoffs, let me dust off something I said last year after the results of the First Round were completed:

The only real downside to the Capitals losing is that it prevents us from seeing Sid the Kid and Evgeni Malkin from taking on Ovechkin and Backstrom in the second round. Say what you will, but Bettman had the perfect opportunity to take what he learned under Stern and to put it to use to set up a real dazzler of a matchup.

Much like everything else, however, Bettman fails to put the hit out to guarantee this will happen.

Upon the completion of Washington's stirring victory over the Rangers in Game 7 that featured Sergei Fedorov dial up an Yzerman-esque ripper of a shot over the newly-exposed glove hand of Henrik Lundqvist, in my many posts on Twitter (you know, since I've got nothing else to do) I stated this:

Now let's see how (bad) Gary wants the fix. If the #Canes beat the #Devils we get Sid vs. Ovechkin.

In my head I had one of the greatest creative minds of the modern sports entertainment era, at least he was for a while, in mind as I wrote this. I thought about it last year when Washington stormed back against Philadelphia only to lose in Game 7 to the Flyers and there it was in my head again this time as the New Jersey Devils had a 3-2 lead on the Carolina Hurricanes in their Game 7.


Some say a man fitting this description was seen in the tunnel at The Rock shouting, "Just go down Marty!"

Would Lil' Gary put on his big boy shoes and put in the call for the Devils to lay it down or would it play out legendarily like this:



In a series that had so many great goaltending performances from both Martin Brodeur and Cam Ward and two teams that truly left it all out on the ice and given everything that I was able to witness all throughout this years NCAA Hockey Tournament, I didn't think the NHL had it in them to produce a finish to a game that so thoroughly stunned me as this one did.

Doc Emrick and Chico Resch from MSG+ with the call:



Un-Freaking-Believable.

I mean... This is the New Jersey Devils, the team that made sitting on a one-goal lead the new black in the 1990s. This is Martin Brodeur - The Franchise - The Legend.

How in the blue hell did this happen? This stuff doesn't happen to the Devils. It never does... Well, unless you're the Ottawa Senators.

It's hours upon hours later now and this one just stuns me. Jussi Jokinen is the new cursed name in the swamps of New Jersey? The same guy that was waived by the directionless Tampa Bay Lightning? That Jussi Jokinen?!

Shocking.

What's more shocking about all of this is that Herr Bettman got his wish. With the Hurricanes beating the Devils, that set up a second round date between Sid the Kid's Penguins and Alexander the Great's Capitals - a playoff matchup that people have been dying to have happen.

Sure, it's not for the Conference Title or the Stanley Cup - but for the press and the attention and the real bad blood there is between these teams it might as well be.

Two of these four second round series are now set to be, potentially, the best series of the entire playoffs. Anaheim did their job and disposed of a gutless Sharks team to set up a date with the Red Wings and then you get the headliner between Pittsburgh and Washington.

This isn't to say that Chicago and Vancouver is going to stink, far from it, as that's going to make for an incredible tilt and the Wonder Boys in Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews are going to have their hands full in dealing with Vancouver's system all backstopped by the new stud Roberto Luongo.

Boston and Carolina would be a lot more fun if, say, Herr Bettman's Southern Conquest wasn't involved and the Hurricanes were wearing blue, green and white and celebrated each goal with some Brass Bonanza.

Then again, getting Ric Flair prominently involved in hockey really isn't so bad and given that it took the Hurricanes to overthrow the Devils to make Gary's Dream Match-Up come to fruition... Well maybe it's worth looking into.

Ahoy - It's the NHL's Great Green Whale

I know when you think of a hockey relic, some think of Gordie Howe or even Red Kelly. Some might think of Don Cherry, although it'd be safe to say that his opinions on the game are even older than he is and twice as tired.

In the current NHL landscape where anything going back as far as (gasp!) 15 years ago seems like and is treated like ancient history, there's one hockey relic that always brings back fond thoughts.



Bow before your legendary icon.

That's right, the Whale.

What folks might not be realizing is that the NHL is very slowly, semi-secretly doing their part to try and win back the city of Hartford and win back the hearts of folks like myself who can hear the strains of "Brass Bonanza" whenever they set foot into a hockey rink.

I just received an NHL Catalog in the mail and was stunned and amazed to see photos of an NHL sweatshirt on sale in there emblazoned with the classing Whalers logo.



This jobber doesn't even realize the greatness he's modeling.

Not only was it that, but it was part of a small collection of other highly-priced NEW Whalers merchandise on sale by the NHL.

This amazed me because the logo is owned by the Connecticut Development Authority and not the NHL. To put the logo on any merchandise you have to get permission from the CDA to make it happen and, let's face it, the NHL doesn't exactly enjoy legal wrangling with anyone. Of course, in this case, there's money to be made for the NHL and Whalers merchandise, after not being available now for the better part of 10+ years would sell like crazy to people like me who look for it on Ebay.

Something is afoot here and the NHL is getting back in touch with the folks in Connecticut and not just for a way to get money out of our wallets. They're also looking into seeing what the city of Hartford has to offer as the home of an NHL franchise once again.

What, you don't believe me? Then explain this:

Mayor (Eddie)Perez, along with Andy Bessette, Chief Administrative Officer of the Travelers Insurance Company (who is leading a task force on private sector support for a new arena) and Oz Griebel, CEO of the MetroHartford Alliance, discussed with Commissioner Bettman the potential for including an NHL franchise in future plans for the development of a new Hartford arena.

“Today’s meeting with Commissioner Bettman was an excellent opportunity to let him know that Hartford remains interested in bringing the NHL back to Connecticut’s Capital City. We had a very good discussion and the Commissioner was generous with his time and thoughts about what was necessary for an NHL franchise to succeed,” Mayor Perez stated.

Incredible, right? After all, the NHL was more than happy to run screaming from Hartford (with Peter Karmanos' help) and head to North Carolina.

Herr Bettman doing something to reach out to other cities, even ones that used to have hockey and didn't do well to sustain themselves. I wonder what the folks in Winnipeg think about this.

What's even more amazing about all of this is that Hartford mayor Eddie Perez fits right in with Bettman and his other business pals and loser owners.

Perez is, allegedly, a crook.

In court papers, prosecutors accuse Perez of hiring city contractor Carlos Costa to renovate his home and not paying for it until after being confronted by investigators.

Charged with receiving a bribe, fabricating physical evidence and conspiracy to fabricate evidence, Perez says he is innocent... Costa and a city employee were also charged with felonies.

So here we've got Herr Bettman showing up playing the part of the Redeemer and Perez trying to cast himself as the Hero of the Day and instead it's Perez being arrested for being a shyster all in an effort to reclaim the greatness and the glory of the Whale.

Amazing. I'm not entirely sure this makes everything even more tragic and disgraceful or one hell of a dire effort. Considering that Bettman is along for the ride, I'll think of this latest series of events as another skid mark on the legacy of the Whalers.


"Moby Dork" featuring Gary Bettman as Captain Ahab and Hartford mayor Eddie Perez as Queequeg.

The extra fun part about all of this is that whether the City of Hartford was able to secure this new arena deal or not, moving an NHL team back to Hartford or giving them (God help us all...) an expansion team might rank out as one of the worst ideas in professional sports.

Hartford is an abysmal city, much like most Northeast cities that aren't named Boston or New York City are. Considering that other cities that I'd compare similarly to Hartford (Providence, Worcester, Albany, Syracuse and Rochester) are all homes to AHL franchises, it's fitting that Hartford is home to one as well and there's a damn good reason for that.

These cities are depressed (or recessed, whatever) and folks that live there or in their suburbs aren't selling out the arenas for any of these AHL franchises so what makes any of these simpletons think that planting an NHL franchise with vastly more expensive tickets is going to change the situation? It won't and Hartford has been through this already once and a new arena isn't changing that.

Look, we all think fondly about the Whalers and everything that they stood for and everything that they ever were but this is a case where keeping the memories alive in our minds and on reverential websites (Like: The Blowhole, Whalers Hockey, Brass Bonanza) are what pay the proper respect to the Whale. Trying to reanimate the corpse of the Whale would only serve to ruin the memories of a much beloved former franchise.

Mea Culpa

I guess some of you thought I over stepped my bounds with one of my photos last week and it was brought to my attention by a dear friend of mine that I should change my focus a bit.

I'm here to say that I will do just that.

Apparently some of you are also die-hard Star Wars fans and objected greatly to my depiction of the most awful Commissioner of our time as being like the Emperor from the Star Wars saga.

To recap, here it is:



I guess showing him as an ultimately evil and über-controlling Sith lord was going over the top.

I should've known better.

To make it up to you, here's my extremely juvenile and even more apropos rendition of Herr Bettman hard at work.



If this reference is lost on you, then I weep for your soul. I'll also throw you a bone to help you youngsters and ignoramuses get caught up.

Gary Knows Best

So Detroit Red Wings stars Nick Lidstrom and Pavel Datsyuk are missing out on the All-Star Game in Montreal because they're injured.

Some writers around the league are questioning exactly how hurt they are considering they both played in Detroit's last game before the break. Fair enough question I'm sure, but then again, the NHL hasn't gone so far as to make the All-Star Game falsely an exhibition by making it count for something, anything, that would necessitate the best and the brightest be there whether they're injured a little bit or not.

Suffice it to say, the All Star Break allows a lot of players time to rest up, heal up and get ready for the second half of the season as well as the playoffs. You know, since the ultimate goal of the NHL season is to win the Stanley Cup and all, sometimes professionals like to be...professional and make sure their obligations to the team are met and that no one goes and does something profound and silly like getting hurt in a highly publicized exhibition.

Leave it to Gary Bettman to get whimpery and whiny when the big stars would rather tend to business be it with their team or their family. After all, Herr Bettman's mid-season soireè is now mandated from on high to make an appearance at even if you're not going to play.



Emperor Gary shows us his "V."


NHL (Lack of) Disciplinarian Colin Campbell breaks it down:

''We've all got obligations to the fans, the rights holders - this game is being televised around the world,'' Campbell said.

Detroit's Nicklas Lidstrom and Pavel Datsyuk will have to sit out a game next week as punishment for skipping this weekends event. Neither player will lose salary.

''I feel bad for Nicklas Lidstrom,'' said Campbell. ''He's been here how many years now? It's unfair that he gets caught in this web.''

You know, it's not so much a web - it's a couple of guys who are nicked up that would rather sit at home. These weren't All-Stars elected by the fans ,which if you're skipping out on a fan-elected spot, fine - take the heat and chew on a suspension - the game is about the fans after all.

But they weren't - they're reserves and whether you agree with how that came about is another story (thanks to the fans in Chicago and Anaheim for this one). Fact is, the starters are the ones who are deemed most important, they're the ones who are burdened with having to put on the super pretty face for the fans. Reserves? Meh - everyone gets one of those.

What's been amazing surrounding all this hoopla is how talk and conspiracy theories have blown up over at a favored Red Wings spot, Abel to Yzerman.

The Chief is normally ornery with Gary Bettman (a trait that is enjoyed quite a bit here) and the true colors are out in full effect, and one thing he makes note of here is that this occurred last year too and under even more suspicious circumstances for the league to be able to hand down a suspension but deciding not to.

From last January:

Devils goaltender Martin Brodeur has pulled out of the Sunday's NHL's All-Star Game in Atlanta to deal with family matters. Brodeur said he informed Devils general manager Lou Lamoriello of his decision about a week ago, but it was not announced by the NHL until today. Brodeur will be replaced by Boston goaltender Tim Thomas.

"It's a tough decision," Brodeur said. "I've got some stuff going on with the family back home, so it's something I just wanted to make sure I was here to take care of. It's definitely a tough one. It's such a great weekend to miss. That's why I waited so long. I tried to avoid making that decision, but I think it's for the best."

That's fine, I won't take issue with "family matters" even if that means going home to boink your sister-in-law.

What, too soon?

Meanwhile, Puck Daddy makes sure to mention that seven players backed out of last year's All Star Game in Atlanta for any number of reasons, including injury. Of course, they weren't suspended because players were apparently allowed to be taken at their word last season.

Whatever.

As for Detroit this time around? Well, suffice to say, Ken Holland isn't very happy - this from the National Post.

"I'm not going to call Nick and tell him he's got to go to Montreal to sit and talk with the media for a day," said a fiery Holland, who is upset with the NHL's treatment of Lidstrom on this issue.

"Imagine me calling Nick, a six-time Norris Trophy winner, four-time Stanley Cup winner and someone who has gone to the last 10 all-star games and telling him he can't spend the time with his four boys and wife.

"I have too much respect for Nick because I know he's playing in pain. He's shown up at every NHL Awards show he's been nominated for. He's done everything the league has asked him to do.

"He's put in his time and he's paid his dues. I'm backing my player because I know he's hurt."

In other words, Gary:

I got your two All Stars right here Gary!

If you think Holland let things go after that, you're fooling yourself and he took things a step further in reminding Bettman who swings the big stick.

"I don't know exactly what Gary has said, but we've always encouraged our players to go and they have over the years," Holland said. "We played in the Winter Classic when asked even though there was some internal opposition. We gave up our traditional New Year's Eve game.

"We've helped carry the flag for the league for more than a decade. I think we've tried to be good partners in these things.

"I understand the All-Star Game is important, but I'm not going to tell Nick and Pavel to go either."

It's clear that the Red Wings even before the Salary Cap Era began had a contentious relationship with the Commissioner's Office. Herr Bettman didn't care for the Red Wings spending as much money as they did and neither did Gary's poor buddy owners. They shut down the league for a year, get the salary cap they want only to discover the Red Wings are also a brilliant scouting team and can grown their own talent.

The Ilitch Family and Ken Holland have been teaming up to give Bettman the finger for years now and Gary hates every bit of it because the Red Wings keeping getting in the way of his grand schemes of doing what he thought David Stern did with the NBA. Stern got lucky in riding the coattails of Magic and Bird and then having Michael Jordan fall in his lap to take over the world.

Gary saw the same thing with Sidney Crosby and still does. He sees the same kind of thing with the Blackhawks now with super talents Jonathan Toews and Patrick Kane. He sees all these NBA-like stars in his eyes and the Red Wings keep slapping him into reality and Bettman is too much of a Napoleonic pantywaste to deal with it.

His actions against Lidstrom and Datsyuk do have an awful and disgusting precedence (see Brodeur last year) but that doesn't make it right. If a guy's hurt, let them stay home. Major League Baseball doesn't make their injured guys show up if they don't want and their game means something.

Then again, expecting Gary Bettman to not be petty and to somehow find a way to make a joke out of All-Star Weekend, you know when a joke of a game gets played in the first place, seemed like things even he couldn't do. Everything this guy does turns to crap - leaving well enough alone wasn't good enough and it never will be because either he's the dumbest executive on earth or he's got the world's worst consulting firm giving him really bad ideas.

Disgraceful.

Serenity Now!

As I pointed out here yesterday, the Board of Governors were going to sit around and be rich old farts and talk about ways to further disturb the NHL.

Turns out they may actually be getting wise as Tim Wharnsby of the Globe and Mail in Canada tells us.

There is an arena ready to go in Kansas City and one planned for the near
future for Las Vegas. Last week, deputy commissioner Bill Daly said the league
hopes to have teams based in Europe in the next 10 years.

But despite the apparent fascination, expansion was not a topic on the
agenda at the NHL board of governors meeting in Toronto yesterday.

I'm faint, my head is spinning with this news - I demand further quotation as proof.

"We like our 30 teams now and we don't feel this an appropriate time to do it,"
commissioner Gary Bettman said. "What the future may hold, I'm not prepared to
predict, but it's not on the agenda."

Well how about that. Do I believe any of this for a minute? Not really - these owners and Bettman are famous for talking out both sides of their mouth. I'm sure there were some enlightening conversations behind the scenes about these cities.

One quote that I was foolish enough to look past but has been brought up in discussion on Kukla's Korner was this from Herr Bettman courtesy of Pierre LeBrun at ESPN:

"At the present time, we're not ready to engage in any sort of expansion
process," Bettman said yesterday. "If that changes -- and it doesn't mean it
will, but it could at some point -- then we'll open it up and see what the
interest is."

Without any prompting, Bettman himself brought up Vegas.

"There were some articles indicating that there's no building deal yet in
Vegas," Bettman said. "We've had expressions of interest from lots of places,
both north and south of the 49 parallel, and at some point we may deal with
them. But not right now."

The NHL will be Vegas one day. You can bet on it.

Is Gary tipping his hand here or what? Then again, I kicked the tires on this happening a while back. While I did speculate that the Kings might be just that team to go to Sin City, Wharnsby's story brought up something that's a bit more worrisome.

What else comes to light, and has come up elsewhere recently, is that the fervor which the NHL gained steam behind the Canadian dollar is slowing up in a very noticable way, especially to the owners who have capitalized greatly on hockey's success in Canada and the "extra money" that has come flowing in thanks to the relative strength of the Loonie compared to the U.S. Dollar.

Mind you, it's not as if the U.S. Dollar is the world beater it was years ago, that's not the case at all - but while the Loonie caught up to our Benjamins, with it went NHL revenues and the salary cap. It begs our attention to keep an eye on what the Loonie will do because that will tell us if the Salary Cap continues to shoot up or leads to chaos in the front offices.

A weakened Canadian dollar against the U.S. Dollar means less money for everyone since Canada is obviously the NHL's cash cow. Shocking, I know. Less money means that teams in trouble like Nashville, Atlanta, and Florida could be looking for greener pastures. Hell, even Calgary could throw its hat in the ring once again if things got bad enough for the Loonie - Calgary was supposedly close to peril before the Canadian dollar leveled out with the U.S. dollar.

While expansion may not have been on the table, I'd bet more than anything Kansas City and Las Vegas were being discussed in great detail about the sweet deals and opportunities that await in these cities (Kansas City especially) and while no one is looking to move right now... things change. And when things change in this situation, these cities might just get to pick and choose from who they'd rather come to fill up their AEG owned arena.

Did you ever get the feeling that while the NHL owners were doing right by the CBA and their own revenues and what the books were saying that they'll still find a way to get caught with their pants down?

Yeah - so do I.

Warning! Board of Governors to Meet!

The NHL's Board of Governors will meet today to discuss a few things. Pierre LeBrun, who now writes for ESPN, a surprising step up in quality for the worldwide leader in three sports, highlighted what the Board will focus on. From Pierre:

1. There will obviously be an update on the ownership situation
in Nashville, the league still reeling from the bank fraud charges laid on
part-owner William "Boots" Del Biaggio III. There will also apparently be talk
of "preliminary qualification procedures for ownership transfers." I can only
translate this as meaning the league wants to somehow set more rigid guidelines
for future owners or future franchise sales.

2. Owners will also discuss "new potential franchise markets" from groups who have expressed interest. This is standard at these meetings; it doesn't mean the NHL is
planning to expand any time soon. But there will be the usual update from groups
interested in Las Vegas and Winnipeg, among others.

3. A discussion of the collective bargaining agreement and the players' union. The
NHLPA can opt out of the CBA after this season, although I would be shocked if
the players did.

4. An update on the lack of an international player transfer agreement, the league's talks with the IIHF and the goings-on in Russia.

Obviously, the first three things on this list are of the highest interest to yours truly as they involve subjects that have been addressed ad nauseum here. While Pierre has no seeming angle to his reporting, unlike some folks we're familiar with, I can take what he's outlined here and translate it for what they're actually going to discuss. Let's take it point-by-point:

1. Let's face it, the Nashville situation is getting some pretty sweet General Schultz treatment by most everyone who has been unfortunate enough to get their name tagged along with the franchise sale to a group of Nashville investors and the dubious "Boots" Del Biaggio. The owners say they want to discuss things concerning Nashville and to see how they can avoid these things from happening in the future.

A couple of tips for you guys concerning this. First off, never look a gift horse in the mouth - even if the horse comes from Canada and is desperate to take his new barn back home. The Board and Bettman's refusal to allow Jim Balsillie to buy the Predators is where all this nonsense began in the first place. Balsillie, of course, was radically different than Boots because he both actually has money and was open about his wont to bring the team somewhere else - two things that Boots was not open about.

Hint to future buyers: Don't disclose anything about yourself to the Board, just show up with a reputation for throwing around a lot of money and you're golden. Idiots.

2. I know Pierre made it very clear that discussing other markets and potential means to move to these places are always discussed it makes me wonder what exactly this pack of old farts discusses. You've got a handful of franchises in bad situations currently and at least three areas that are dying to get a team, two of which are in the precious western part of the United States.

I've been critical already about how both the league and prospective owners have pussyfooted around and half-heartedly talked about things to either help address these current failing situations or to do something to fix it.

The problem is that the markets that are in trouble (Phoenix, Miami, Atlanta, Nashville) are all prominent American cities and highly viable professional sports markets. Some places have clauses written into their deals that make it impossible for them to go anywhere else (Phoenix). The other three, however, are key to Herr Bettman's proliferation plan. Vacating any of those cities to go to Las Vegas, Kansas City or anywhere in Canada would be a step down in the eyes of the suits and to most everyone else as well, regardless of how sweet the package would be in Kansas City.

Those cities aren't answers for what plagues the NHL with the ones that are lagging behind, but if expansion is the talk that comes up most often, that's foolish to a degree so high science can't come up with it and would signal a huge financial problem amongst the owners because expanding the NHL again would mean these greedy morons are out to pick up a check from expansion fees once again. I just pray that LeBrun is right and this is just typical idle chatter and nothing of any substance.

3. There is NO WAY the NHLPA opts out of this Collective Bargaining Agreement but the first owner that mentions the CBA will likely be subjected to a severe spanking. If the owners talk about anything concerning this that doesn't involve lots of four-letter words and venom over about how "those darn kids" got one over on them again, I'd be shocked. If anything, this could become a brainstorming session on how to better formulate a plan to ruin the league with an even longer work stoppage.

Basically this is setting up to be a league-wide gnashing of teeth and bitchfest. I'd love to be a fly on the wall for this just to soak in the heaps of ridiculousness that get thrown around amongst these Mensa failures.

Ahhhhh.....See Ya!

Dear Henry Samueli, indefinitely suspended owner of the Anaheim Ducks:



What happens when you lie to the Government about money? They treat you like a bitch is what they do.

Samueli tried to plea down to help ease the pain on himself to the tune of five years probation and fines totalling just over $12 million dollars, an amount that's insurmountable to the rest of us but easily peeled out of the checkbook for a rich fancypants like Samueli. The one catch with this plea is that it required approval of U.S. District Judge Cormac Carney.

Here come da judge!

"The court is not alone in concluding that a five-year probationary
sentence does not capture the seriousness of Dr. Samueli's alleged misconduct,"
Carney wrote in a tentative ruling he made final in court.

That stings a bit.

A couple of Samueli's fellow crooks with Broadcom, co-founder Henry Nicholas III and former CFO William Ruehle, are also in hot water and awaiting decisions on what will happen with them. They, of course, have plead not guilty to their backdating of stock options and drug charges as well.

While Samueli may not go to jail, he and his pals are getting bitch-slapped by the judge because they apparently think they can write a check and make their problems go away... Which they still may end up getting a chance to do while getting a shortened stay in the hoosegow.

There are plenty of sources for this story, and I enjoy that they all point out something quite interesting to note on this case. Check the further quotation of Judge Carney.

"It would erode the public's perception of our justice system to accept a plea
agreement containing an unprecedented payment of $12 million to resolve the
criminal liability of one of four coconspirators in an alleged $2.2 billion
securities fraud."

That's right folks. Samueli figured that if he cut a $12 million dollar check that he could make $2 BILLION DOLLARS worth of fraud go away virtually unpunished.

I just want you folks to remember this when the owners go back to pleading poverty because the players are making too much money off of them. I want you to remember that some of Herr Bettman's good buddies, even one that he suspended for getting rung up on securities fraud charges like Samueli, are as crooked and rotten as the day is long meanwhile other guys are frozen out because they don't play ball the same way.

You know the way that goes: Lying plain as day about how much money you have while scheming behind the scenes to cut deals to move a team that's not even yours yet or flat out breaking the law while trying to screw others out of their money.

With friends like these, who needs to actually go to prison to see the crooks? You could just go to a Board of Governors meeting instead.

Someone Gets It

Adam Thompson, I'd like to thank you...and curse you a little bit.

I thank you because, unlike many hockey writers, you seem to get it. I know you're a Wall Street Journal writer, and the WSJ isn't exactly known for being a great sports writing haven - but you, my friend, have hit it square on the head. In fact, you must be a reader of this blog part of the time. Case in point:

The league and union ought to swallow their pride, retreat from a few markets
that have consistently failed to gain traction – the NHL remains an afterthought
in Nashville and South Florida – and, for the love of all things decent,
permanently table any talk of further expansion to hockey hinterlands like
Kansas City and Las Vegas. A game already taking positive steps would look even
better with a more concentrated talent pool free of talent-poor fourth-liners.

Fantastic paragraph. It's straight to the point and hammers home that the league as it is now is a bit diluted. Of course, my argument that Herr Bettman helped that along by following John Zeigler's starter-mission of collecting expansion fees is the root of the issue, but that's neither here nor there right now.

The inspiration for the piece appears to be ESPN signing CBC's Don Cherry to provide playoff analysis. This is rather curious since ESPN got out of NHL broadcasting after the lockout. Well, what I meant was Herr Bettman decided to show those lousy upstarts at the Worldwide Leader of Sports who was boss, especially after just about every anchor and commentator on ESPN opted to make fun of the league during the lockout rather than report the news in a mostly objective manner. He decided to show them up by jumping on board the Outdoor Life Network bandwagon.

Another ace decision from the fearless leader.

The way I see it, ESPN wants another bombastic personality on board to get fun quotes and potential ridiculous antics out of. At the very least they'll get ridiculous suits from Grapes and should the Finals turn out to be Detroit and Pittsburgh, they might get some of the xenophobic maniacal verbage I'm sure they're hoping for. A Cup Final with two teams heavy on talented Europeans would make the very Pro-North American Cherry go out of his mind, especially Detroit whose captain hails from Sweden (Nicklas Lidstrom). You could also bank on Cherry hammering away on the fact that a European captained team has never won the Cup.

That sort of talk is a long way off, however.

If anyone is looking at this move as anything resembling ESPN trying to get back into the hockey game, they're sorely mistaken. Bettman, begrudgingly, makes good points whenever he's grilled about turning away from ESPN. Sure, he privately and semi-publicly grouses about the treatment the league got during and after the lockout, you can't blame him for that. He also points out that the NHL wouldn't get the kind of prime treatment he's looking for out of ESPN. You'd likely see the NHL be a mostly ESPN 2 program and since the NHL would be competing for airtime on the network with the NBA, NFL and college football and basketball...well, I think we all know where hockey would rank out in that pecking order - probably about on par with the Arena Football league.

Now, ESPN is all about the big personalities. Bob Knight doing NCAA Tournament coverage is a prime example of this. He's a big name, he's got no qualms about sharing his opinion and he's not a made-for-TV pretty face either. He is the game, he is reality. Same thing with Don Cherry.

That said, Cherry's opinions and antics on CBC are must-see-TV in Canada and there's no one on TV in the United States that can come even remotely close to caring about hockey the way Grapes does and there's not a guy at ESPN that loves the game nearly as much, save for perhaps John Buccigross. For this reason alone its worth it to bring Cherry to sports fans in the USA, its a shame it has to happen on a network that shrugs off the NHL so badly.